Ever had a neighbor stop by when your house was a mess? You let her in and then swallowed audibly every time you thought her eyes might have caught glimpse of your stained undies on the floor or the several tubs of peanut butter with spoons sticking out?
That mortification is the shame you have about having a messy house. The story you’re telling yourself is that your house is a mess and it shouldn’t be.
As soon as that story is out in the open and you simply tell your neighbor that you’re so embarrassed and that you were herding llamas all day or whatever your excuse is, you can finally relax.